She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
