May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
