Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
