Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
