Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
