Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
