i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
