Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
