I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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