You smell like a Billy Joel song
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
