So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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