I hate your face
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize