How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
