Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
