we have officially lost it.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
