MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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