I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
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