I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
