do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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