there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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