her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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