i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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