Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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