you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Still dying that you shit outside
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
