Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
A bitchslap is in order.
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