"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
