She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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