How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
