Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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