Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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