i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize