I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
