so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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