oh god the rape fog is back!
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Randomize
