Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
