Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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