I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
