so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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