I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
