Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
