Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
