I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Randomize
