I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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