So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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