she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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