There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Can you bring me the toilet please
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
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