I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
