The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
