If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
