I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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