Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
