her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
