She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
