I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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