i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
