I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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