broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
