She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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