i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Randomize
