I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
