that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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