Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize